I posted earlier today about an excellent article on the financial crisis by Michael Lewis.

In the post, I mentioned the “righteous rage” I felt, and I suspect we all feel, the more we learn about what’s happened to our financial system. It’s the helpless anger we feel when bad things happen to good people (like us, of course) and the fiery vitriol that wells up inside us when good things happen to bad people (like the Wall Street CEOs).

But let’s remember a few things.

The market was de-regulated by politicians and policy-makers. They were elected, or appointed by those who were elected, by the collective us. Elections have consequences.

“Bad” decisions were made by CEOs and managers and grunts, all of whom were acting in their own perceived best interest — quarter-over-quarter, year-over-year revenue results, and revenue growth and profitability increases… because, collectively, with our instant-gratification, beat-the-market, retire rich and young obsession, we demanded it.

Those CEOs and managers and grunts were put in an impossible situation by our collective greed and decades-long erosion of the safeguards that previously held them in check. Do what’s “right,” sacrifice results, get canned; or do what’s expedient, get rewarded, and do it again.

We created an environment in which CEOs and employees could be fired for not maximizing profit. In the armed forces, it’s known as dereliction of duty; in the corporate world, fiduciary irresponsibility.

Sure, many of them got rich, and many of us have been and will be screwed — maybe for the rest of our lives.

But we were all complicit. We share the blame. And we deserve a little of that righteous rage, ourselves.

Those who have suffered an about-to-burst gall bladder will generally attest it was the most painful experience of their lives. (Some — the Democrats — may even express glee that John Ashcroft suffered the same.)

Those who have suffered an about-to-burst gall bladder and a kidney stone will generally attest that the pain of the latter is surpassed only by the former.

I have the latter right now. And, as Rachel will tell you, my pain threshold isn’t exactly legendary to begin with.

Happy Thanksgiving!

At this stage, the pain hits me in the lower back and side. It clutches the bundle of nerves in a white-knuckled fist that, no matter how I twist and turn and stretch and shift, simply won’t relax. It’s too insistent to ignore, too intense to breathe through (although I have, like a Lamaze student huffing inhalants), too persistent to ride out.

Vicodin helps, but slowly. While I await the relief, I find that the only thing to be done is… experience it. The pain pulls me into the moment, and shackles me there. The more I struggle, the tighter the shackles.

The only way to loosen them is to… stop struggling.

And when I stop struggling, I just sort of float there in the moment. The pain’s there, too, but it stops… mattering so much. In fact, the less I think of it as “pain,” the less I think of it at all, the less it matters. It still burns, but burns through. Burns clean.

It still clenches, but I slip through its fingers.

I just breathe in, breathe out, repeat.

And, somehow, I’m free.

And, really, how different is that from the pain of a declined business proposal, a marital spat, of fearing for our financial future, of feeling tiny and insignificant in the universe?

Breathe in, breathe out, repeat.

Go free.

Soon, I’ll have a couple of other blogs up and running — one for RentBeep, to be sure, and one for IncrediblyGreat.com (the ironically named web strategy/design/build shop under which I sometimes do work and/or favors for friends).

But until then, this one will have to serve as a little bit of a catch-all.

For posts like this one, for example.

In 1989, Michael Lewis wrote the non-fiction, semi-autobiographical book Liar’s Poker. The book described Lewis’s experiences as a bond broker in the 1980s. Despite excellent reviews, I’ve not read it. Maybe someday.

I have, however, read Lewis’s excellent Portfolio piece, “The End,” about the current financial collapse. “The End” nominally profiles hedge fund trader Steve Eisman. Eisman first called bullsh*t on Wall Street’s shenanigans years ago, even as he leveraged his superior understanding into millions in profit.

If, like me, you lack a deep understanding of why the dominos fell (and keep falling), read it. Now. And enjoy the righteous rage.

• Portfolio: The End
• Wikipedia: Liar’s Poker

After literally years of threatening to blog, and the indulgent laziness of not getting one set up, and the attendant guilt and self-loathing that accompanied it… here it is.

This is my personal blog. Although I work at, own and operate, or am otherwise involved with a variety of companies (most notably RentBeep.com, a rental property tenant-finding site), the opinions expressed here are mine, not theirs.

I’m not entirely sure what I’ll post here. Probably some notes about family goings-on, some photos, some links I find interesting… I guess the kind of stuff most people post on their personal blogs. But with, you know, that special Matt Fischer je ne sais quoi. And you get it for free. You lucky devil.